I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause
by jessiexx34
Summary: Grace and Liam Bass sneak downstairs one night, only to discover that their mother was making out with Santa Clause when daddy was 'away'. Now they hatch a plan to make sure Santa Clause doesn't come back so their mommy and daddy will be happy forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Mk, I know I should be writing **_**Our Love is so Dysfunctional**_** but I had this great idea after hearing a song, so I just had to share it with everyone. This will probably be a multi-chapter fic. At the exact moment (ok, a couple minutes into the future anyways) I'll start writing the next chapter for **_**OLISD.**_** And trust me, I have the whole next chapter planned out :D**

**Enjoy and R&R.**

"Chuck, you're home early," Blair stated as she looked up from her book, her eyes dancing with happiness. Who was she to complain when her husband of seven years was home early from the Bass Christmas party?

Chuck smirked and sat down next to Blair, the red suit and white beard still on him from the party. It was a tradition he had made that each Christmas party, the boss of Bass Industries would be dressed as Santa. There was no one to disagree with him, because in all honestly, people love the fact that their boss embarrassed himself once every year. "Who could keep me away from my wife?"

Blair laughed and stood up to greet Chuck with a kiss, the fireworks still between them after seven years of marriage and two children, Grace Evelyn and Liam Bartholomew. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and neither cared that his fake fat stomach was between them.

"Liam was asking for you. You didn't read him a bedtime story so he's expecting two tomorrow night."Shrugging his shoulders as though this wasn't a punishment, Chuck sat on the couch and dragged Blair on his lap. "Your beard is itchy," Blair complained, trying to figure out a way to kiss him without having the white beard irritate her.

Nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, he breathed in the scent of Dior that surrounded her. She was a drug to him, even after all these years. And she still wasn't sick of him. Chuck knew that Blair was the one, from the moment he took his virginity, and probably even sooner. It just took her a little longer to make it work. "Deal with it. Santa wants to make love to Mrs. Clause right now."Chuckling, Blair wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We need to move to the bedroom though" she mumbled "Grace and Liam don't want to see your naked ass anytime soon, and if they come downstairs…" her voice trailed off. Chuck could only imagine the look on their kid's faces, and Liam going what is mommy and daddy doing?

Two extra pairs of eyes watched as Chuck and Blair greeted each other before scampering up the stairs and back to their bedroom. Grace closed the door behind Liam and sat down on her bed, Liam placing himself right next to her. Grace, being the oldest at six, was usually the one in charge, but Liam had wanted to see daddy before they went to be, so they had gone to see if he was home.

What they had found was mommy kissing Santa Clause. And both knew that they didn't want their mommy to be in an affair like Uncle Nate and Aunt Serena had done. Affairs were bad, mommy had once told them."Gracie!" Liam whispered, looking upset. "We saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause!"

Grace nodded and sat there. It was obvious that she was a Bass. With Chuck's eyes and Blair's hair, she looked like Blair had when Blair was only six years old. Liam had Blair's eyes but Chuck's messy brown hair, revealing that he also looked like Chuck when Chuck was only four years old. People commented on how beautiful the children were, and Chuck and Blair would respond with a simple 'we know'.

"Yes Liam. Mommy was kissing Santa Clause," Grace replied, rattling her small mind for some reason her mother would ever do that. And then she began to think why Santa was here a couple weeks earlier then Christmas, and the only thing she could come up with was that Santa and mommy had begun this affair last year! "We need to do something. We don't want mommy and daddy to end up like Aunt Serena and Uncle Dan, or Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Nate." Grace said.

Liam nodded, as though he completely understood what Grace was saying. He didn't though, because a four year old usually had a short attention span and was now thinking about what Santa could get him for Christmas since he had been a good boy all year. "What are we going to do?" he asked as his mind finally focused on the situation, his eyes wide with fear.

Shrugging her shoulders, Grace tried to focus. Their door was closed, so they didn't hear anything going on downstairs, between mommy and Santa. "He'd gonna find out who's naughty or nice," Grace mumbled, her mind blooming with an idea.

"Santa Clause is coming to town!" Liam finished excitedly, reciting his favorite Christmas carol. Rolling her eyes, Grace ignored her brother's stupidity for a minute.

"NO!" Grace said, covering her brother's mouth. For a moment, she heard her mother say something from downstairs, a deeper voice responding before laughter echoed through the door. Whispering so her brother knew that there was no need for yelling, she continued "we need to be bad so Santa Clause doesn't come this year!"

Liam's lip quivered, since he was on the verge of tears. "But then we have no new toys! And mommy and daddy will get mad at us!"

Shrugging her shoulders again, Grace continued. "Daddy and mommy will get us more toys and then Santa won't be kissing mommy anymore underneath the mistletoe or by the tree! Which means mommy and daddy will live happily ever after!"Thinking about it for a moment, Liam thought about what could be good about no Santa this year. No Santa would mean mommy and daddy would be together forever, but he wanted toys! He had been a very good boy this year and he loved the toys he got from Santa every year.

He wasn't able to respond, though, because seconds later both he and Grace heard his mother and someone else climbing the stairs. Each hopped into their own bed, turned out the lights and closed their eyes, pretending to be asleep."Shh Chuck! They're sleeping now!" Blair whispered from outside their door.

Chuck opened the door quietly, no longer wearing his red Santa suit and white beard. After his and Blair's activity, he disposed of the suit in their secret hiding spot and wore what was under the suit-his shirt and boxers-up to bed.

Walking to Liam's bed, he kissed his son goodnight before kissing his daughter goodnight before kissing his wife as the two stood and watched their children sleep. Everything was perfect. They had two well-behaved children, a wonderful house, amazing jobs, and a fantastic love life.

What could possibly go wrong? As the two departed the room to head to their room, Grace and Liam sat up and they looked at each other. "I don't want mommy and daddy to get a divorce." Liam whispered, looking at his sister in a panic. Grace smirked at her brother, the trademark Bass smirk, and knew that he brother was on her side."Don't worry, Liam. Mommy and daddy will live happily ever after forever." Grace said with certain before lying down on her bed. Liam followed suit and cuddled with his stuffed bunny, hoping that nothing bad would happen to his family. Yes, he was only four, but he loved his mommy, daddy, and sissy, and wanted them all to be one happy family forever.

No Santa Clause would ever come between this family.

~*~*~

"Stop Chuck," Blair mumbled, burying her face deeper into her pillow. Chuck ignored her protest and kissed her bare shoulder, his arm wrapping around her slim waist. It would only be a couple more minutes until Liam and Grace intruded the two, and Chuck planned to make the most of whatever quiet time they had.

"We have about five minutes before we're pounced on, so I plan to make the most of it," he whispered, his warm breath ticking her skin. Rolling around so she was no facing him, Blair leaned forward so their foreheads were touching. "I mean, we can make it quick…"

She pushed him away. "No, I don't do quickies." She responded, but brought him close and kissed him. "I could make an exception…"He rolled on top of her, their faces dangerously close.

"Now there's the Blair Waldorf I fell in love with."

"It's Blair Bass to you." She said, closing the space between them. But she pushed his lips away moments later when a sudden crash! rang through the house.

"What was that?"Chuck groaned and rolled off of Blair, knowing that the moment was probably ruined now. Blair sat up and rolled out of bed, grabbing her bathrobe and glared at Chuck.

"Come on!" she said, walking out of the room leaving Chuck in a very uncomfortable situation, but he was forced to follow moments later with his matching bathrobe on. What they saw downstairs made Blair gasp.

Grace and Liam were laughing as they played with feathers from two ripped pillows . The ripped pillows weren't the reason Blair was upset, she was upset because the glass rose her father had given her when she was pregnant with Grace was broken beyond repair. Each delicate glass petal that had once stood proud were shattered, the green glass that had made up the stem was now broken into three pieces, and the leaf was nowhere to be found.

Chuck looked at Blair, not sure how to react to the scene before him, because his wife was currently frozen in place. "Blair honey?" he asked gently, looking at the shatter rose that was practically right in front of him. Blair didn't respond, she bent down and fingered the broken glass. Liam and Grace shared a knowing smirk before turning to their parents, trying to act innocent.

"Morning mommy!" Liam said cheerfully, waving from the couch. Blair looked at her son and her daughter, a tear slicing her cheek.

"Go to your room." She said, trying to remain calm. Grace's eyebrow rose, not sure what her mother was trying to do right now. "Go to your room." Blair said, her voice getting a little louder, before cracking at the end. Grabbing her brother's hand, Grace pulled Liam up the stairs but not before looking back at her mother and father.

Chuck wrapped Blair in his arms, knowing that she was probably beyond furious and sad. Not many people knew that the simple crystal flower was the last present Harold had given his daughter before Harold's untimely fatal heart attack. "It's alright," Chuck whispered, hugging his wife close as she shook with sobs.

Grace suddenly had a wave a guilt was over her. The tiny flower that Grace had hit with her pillow on purpose didn't seem that big of deal to her, but obviously her mother was furious which meant that her and Liam probably had a strike against them, which was what they wanted. But she had to get over her guilt, she told herself, as she dragged her younger brother up the stairs.

Blair hugged Chuck close, her tears slowly subsiding. Her sadness was turning into anger as she held Chuck close. If she were in high school and these children weren't her children, they would probably be ten feet under the ground. But she wasn't in high school and they were her children. Releasing her grip on Chuck, she wiped away a couple of tears and sighed. "I need to go lay down," she mumbled, trying not to look at the shattered flower. Chuck nodded and watched his wife climb the stairs and heard the familiar slam of their bedroom door.

He surveyed the damage. Two pillows could easily be replace, and the flower could also be replace, yet it wouldn't have the same meaning. Cleaning up the mess in a couple of minutes, Chuck made his way upstairs and into Liam and Grace's bedroom. "Liam, Grace" he said, and the two quickly got on their beds. Kneeling down between the bed, Chuck looked at them."I want you two to be ready to go out in a couple of minutes. We're going to go get mommy a new flower," he said, and Grace and Liam nodded. "However, that does not excuse what you did. That flower was very important to mommy, and for a couple days, you can't go over anyone house."

Grace gasped in protest. "But Caroline Humphrey is having her birthday party and Auntie Serena said she saved me a special seat at the party!"

Liam nodded. "And Jeremy Archibald said that we could go play in the park tomorrow with Uncle Nate!"

Chuck shook his head at the two, telling himself not to be a push over right now. His wife was crying in their bedroom, and he knew that he had to punish their children. Besides, if he didn't, Blair would have to and the two kids would probably never be able to leave the house till they were 34.

"No. You two cannot have plans. You know better than to have a pillow fight in the middle of the living room! So that is your punishment and you two better be ready to leave the house in ten minutes." Chuck said, concluding his small lecture. Grace sighed and nodded, while Liam nodded excitedly. He could care less if he went out with Jeremy.

Closing the door behind him, Chuck sighed and rubbed his eyes. He wasn't as young as he used to be, and it was evident. Yes, he looked almost exactly as he had when he was twenty, but the edges of his eyes had creases from the laughing and he had creases by his lips from smiling so much.

Twenty minutes later, Liam pranced down the stairs, wearing kaki's and a blue shirt while his sister was walking slowly behind him, her headband and dress matching the color of her brother's shirt. But it was evident that she was still mad about her punishment. Chuck stood in front of the stairs, smiling as his two children walked down stairs. They were going to go to Tiffany's in a couple minutes anyways.

The limo was already waiting in front as the three entered the limo, Chuck smirking to himself at the fact that this was the same limo that he and Blair had made love in numerous times. Arthur, his fateful driver, was smiling at the family. "Morning Mr. Bass, Liam, Grace," he said, opening the door for them.

Chuck nodded and allowed his children to scamper into the limo first. "Tiffany's please," he told Arthur, and the driver nodded before closing the door behind Chuck. "So, you guys excited? We can stop at the toy store after if you guys are good."Liam bounced in his seat, excited. Grace just nodded. Chuck sighed. This was going to be a long day.

And it was, considering it took three hours just to find the perfect glass flower for Blair and then the perfect necklace for Blair as well. Grace and Liam practically drove the people who worked at Tiffany's insane as they were running behind counters and laughing and yelling.

Chuck had no idea why his children were misbehaving, and told them that they were no longer stopping at Macy's for toys. He ignored the protest from his children and then grounded them for another week after they threw paper at Arthur when the driver was, well, driving. His children were never going to be able to leave the house at this point if they kept up their behavior.

But Chuck dealt with the problem children as they entered his bedroom, Blair sitting on their bed eating chocolate and watching home videos. Her head turned and she gave a small smile at her family, before turning back to the movie. Chuck coughed.

"Liam and Grace would like to give something to you," he said, nudging his children forward. Liam pranced over with his blue Tiffany's bad and handed it to his mother, smiling.

"Sorry we broke your flower, mommy," Liam said, giving her a small smile and Blair hugged her son. It was so hard to stay mad at her son when he was that adorable. "We got you some presents!" Grace watched from the doorway, her arms crossed. Her brother was such a traitor.

Chuck nudged his daughter into the room, and Grace sighed. There could be other things that were worse than breaking her mother's flower thing. And besides, if she was nice to her mother, then she could go over Caroline's house and think of more ideas. Caroline was good at rebelling against parents.

"Sorry mom," Grace said, giving the blue bag to her mother.

"Apology accepted. And I assume your father came up with reasonable punishments?" Blair said, looking at the two, and both Grace and Liam nodded. After all, they weren't going to say the opposite: they weren't that stupid.

Blair patted the bed, and all three came and sat down next to her. Chuck wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder and Liam and Grace got comfortable on their laps. Leaning into her husband's grip, Blair watched the home video's of Grace and Liam and her and Chuck from the last couple of years.

Grace, on the other hand, knew that her brother was no longer a reliable source to drive Santa Clause away. She'd just have to be sure to get help from Caroline Humphrey, Jacqueline Archibald and Larissa Evans (Jenny Humphrey's daughter).

And when you're a Bass and a Waldorf combined, you get what you want.


	2. A Quick Update!

Hey guys! I know I suck, because I haven't been on in forever . sorry about that. But I'm back and I made a new account, to do the whole 'starting fresh' aspect. Of course, I'll be moving all of the popular stories onto this account within the next couple of days, depending on how busy I am. So get ready for some updates! My new account is .jess so if you wanna get updated please do whatever you do with this account.

Thanks for being loyal!  
-Jessie


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